Learning To Love Vista


Good day all, Steve here, welcoming you to the start of the end of your week. So I was thinking about Windows Vista. I was not thinking good things. I work in an electronics store and we have a steady stream of people walking in the door threatening to bash their computers with an axe, because they can’t get Vista to work properly. Usually, we suggest a sledgehammer.

It occurred to me that perhaps we’re looking at this whole problem the wrong way. Maybe Vista isn’t a terrible operating system that doesn’t work right and is unbelievably slow and has a lot of useless features and won’t play games or burn c.d.s and generally doesn’t do a damned thing. Verily, it honketh mightily. Here’s an idea: maybe Vista’s simply a tool for people who enjoy pain in their lives. Hmm…

For, truly, Vista has brought pain into our lives. It’s a veritable electronic masochism service. Except for me. I use a Mac. I get a feeling of smug self-satisfaction and justification for having spent three times as much money for my computer when I see people who’ve spent six days trying to send an email. But, as far as I can tell, for just about everyone who bought a new computer with Vista, it’s been nothing but pain. A friend of mine who works in IT was very excited that his brand new computer had Vista. Shortly after, he developed a minor problem with his internet connection and attempted to fix it. His computer was subsequently sucked down into the sixth level of the Inferno. His current whereabouts are unknown.

Microsoft has taken masochism into the main stream. Until now, masochism was mostly confined to stressed-out businessmen who would pay an angry woman to beat them with a duck while singing show tunes, but Vista has brought pain into our schools and living rooms. The shrieks of pain and suffering can be heard across the land.

See what I’m saying? Maybe all that’s needed here is a change in perspective. If we stop getting angry at Vista for not working and instead embrace it for the pain it brings into our lives, then we’re in business.

Of course, if you don’t want more pain in your life, or, um, if you actually want to do something with your computer…then this doesn’t help at all. In fact, it’s bordering on delusional. Anybody have any better suggestions? Geez, I need sleep.

Until next time keep your pen on the page and Vista optimizer caused system blockage. Need assistance.

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